Students across the city have been slowly settling into their new routines over the past week, maybe even enjoying the new challenges they face.
But for one young Kingston man, back-to-school time each year was something that presented only obstacles and frustration.
For Cody Allan, school was little more than a year of struggling to maintain his grades while trying not to focus on a dysfunctional home life.
Now 19, he is a college graduate, gainfully employed in a job he likes and is happy to speak about his journey to anyone who will listen. He was a guest speaker at Friday’s kick-off breakfast for this fall’s United Way campaign.
He credits his turnaround to Pathways to Education, a United Way-supported program run locally out of the Kingston Community Health Centres that works to keep youth in low-income communities in school by providing tutoring, mentoring and financial assistance.
“The neighbourhood I lived in was a little rough in most cases. It wasn’t a very well-supported area at the time,” said the self-described “disadvantaged youth.”
He spent the first 15 years of his life in the Compton-Connacher area. His parents divorced when he was still a baby. He said his father had a drinking problem and his mother struggled with mental health issues and a drug addiction of her own.
“My family has got issues all over the place,” he said in a major understatement.
“I always grew up with the assumption that parents didn’t always know how to be parents. I knew that first-hand. My dad didn’t really know how to be a dad.”
Living at home could be hard.
“There isn’t much you can do except keep trying,” he said. “I had to take on responsibilities that I really shouldn’t have had to worry about.”
Apart from pretty well raising himself, he also had to help feed and clean his younger brother.
“My dad would always do his own thing and then leave me with my brother.”
Allan grew up deprived of some of the basic necessities of life, such as food and the ability to go to school on a regular basis.
“Sadly, I had to learn the hard way that life isn’t really how we portray it to be,” he said. “To many people living in these situations, the mindset is that that’s normal. That is something that needs to change.”
Going to school hungry, unable to focus on his classes because of what was going on at home, led to some issues with his teachers, he said.
“The one thing I never looked forward to was teachers not understanding. I already knew my living situation was different compared to the other students, and I had to try and make that workable.”
The teachers knew he was having problems with his school work and that he would benefit from extra help, but they couldn’t always provide it as often as he needed it.
“That’s where Pathways came in.”
It was just before going into Grade 9 that he saw a Pathways to Education pamphlet that came in the mail. He read about the mentoring and the tutoring that was being offered and it all sounded like a great idea.
“It was awesome. It made sense to me.”
So Allan signed up.
He started out his high school years at Kingston Collegiate and Vocational Institute, but family issues prompted a transfer to Napanee District Secondary School and, finally, to Frontenac Secondary School.
“School was hectic. But Pathways got me through it.”
Allan was set up with tutors for his school work and mentors for his home life.
Knowing that success at home could lead to success at school, he was taught life skills he could use at home, such as cooking. He was soon making chicken wraps and fajitas.
“There is a very big gap between home and school that many parents don’t recognize and even teachers don’t recognize. It is misunderstood,” he said.
“The way I see it, school and home need to work together. You can’t have them separated or else you have too many conflicts and barriers.”
Allan was able to talk to people at Pathways about his dad’s drinking and how it was affecting him at school. He could also better understand his mother’s mental health and addiction problems.
Some of his friends had also signed up for Pathways, so they helped one another with homework.
“When we all got involved, it kind of made the experience even better,” he said.
“I noticed an immediate change in my behaviour towards school. I understood I could actually get through it this year. I knew this year wasn’t going to be crappy. I could actually get good grades.”
Allan’s marks had started out in the 60s. If he was lucky, he might hit a 70.
“They were still pretty low. With Pathways, after my first year I saw a 20 to 30 (percentage) jump in my grades. It got to a point that by Grade 12 I was laughing. I was sitting at 95% average, passing every class. I was an honour roll student.”
Not that school was always a cakewalk.
“The one thing I hated, all the time, was having to wake up early,” he laughed.
“It’s not a good thing when you are a teenager. Evolution says teenagers have to sleep in.”
Learning how to deal with the issues he was facing “makes the battle better,” he said.
“For me, Pathways was something to keep my mind off of the negativity of the world. In life, you are always thrown crap. You sometimes have to learn how to deal with it. Pathways helped me realize school isn’t crap; school is needed.”
There were, however, still times when Allan was ready to drop out.
“But Pathways, they definitely kept me pushing.”
Pathways helped him find ways to get around any obstacles he found in his way.
“Just don’t drop out,” he was always told.
Pathways also always kept him thinking about a post-secondary education, something that had never seemed possible before.
“Before Pathways, college never existed,” he said.
“I had always dreamed of going to college or university. That’s an experience you see everyone getting to have. Being left out of that experience really sucks.”
With some financial help from Pathways, he was able to take a one-year carpentry techniques course at St. Lawrence College and now works at Innotech Cabinetry on Justus Drive, behind Hawthorne Kitchens, where he oversees kitchen construction. He started working there during a co-op program in Grade 12.
“In four years, I went from thinking I was maybe just going to be a labour worker, making minimum wage, and now here I am, I’m a college grad.”
Allan is maintaining his involvement with the United Way and Pathways, speaking to audiences about their importance.
“I can finally give back to the people that kept me alive. A lot of people helped me out to get to where I am. They all helped me out and I’m doing good and then I see some of these people suffering now and that’s not fair. In today’s world, there is enough going on that people just should not have to suffer. It’s just getting the word out that’s half the battle. I really do enjoy being out with big groups of people, getting the word out about something important, making a change in the world. Things like that just drive me. It’s my fuel.”
Kingston Whig Standard
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